講一個(gè)笑話英語？.那么，講一個(gè)笑話英語？一起來了解一下吧。
1. Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger man. Will said, “Well, you know the Pacific Ocean ? My father's the one who dug the hole for it.”
Bill wasn't impressed, “Well, that's nothing. You know the Dead Sea ? My father's the one who killed it!”
誰的父親更強(qiáng)壯
威爾和比爾在為誰的父親更強(qiáng)壯而爭(zhēng)吵。 威爾說： “ 喏，你知道太平洋嗎？就是我爸爸為它挖的洞。”
比爾不屑一顧： “ 噢，那沒什么。你知道死海嗎？那是我爸爸殺死的。 ”
2.某次英文考試有兩道翻譯題目：
1）我穿上外套，卻發(fā)現(xiàn)第一個(gè)扣子掉了。
2）他聽見電話鈴響，就過去接了電話。
正確答案應(yīng)為：
1）put on my coat and found its first button was gone.
2）As soon as he heard the phone ringing, he went to pick itup.
但是某生的答案是：
1）Shit!
2）Hello?
3.老師在黑板上寫了一句：Time is money.
并讓同學(xué)們翻譯。有名學(xué)生答道：“湯姆是
瑪麗。”
4.小明上英文課時(shí)跟老師說：May I go to the toilet?
老師說：Go ahead.
小明就坐了下來。過了一會(huì)兒，小明又跟老師說：May I go to the toilet?
老師說：Go ahead.
小明又坐了下來。他旁邊的同學(xué)于是忍不住問：你不是跟老師說要上廁所嗎？怎么不
去？
小明說：你沒聽老師說「去你個(gè)頭」啊！
5.某日劉洪濤遇到外賓，上前搭話曰：I am hongtao liu，外賓曰：我他媽還是方塊七呢！
I teach computer courses, and my students often call me at home with questions. One morning I was on the phone, explaining in computer language the solution to a problem, while a repairman was fixing my refrigerator. After an endless stream of "C colon, back- slash, greater than, cd, backslash, DOS, 0 colon" and so on, I hung up and found the repairman staring at me. "Lady," he asked, are you a spy?"
Notes:
(1) computer language 計(jì)算機(jī)語言
(2) refrigerator n. 冰箱
(3) backslash n. 回車
(4) greater than大于號(hào)
(5) DOS 計(jì)算機(jī)語言中的DOS處理
Exercises:
根據(jù)短文回答下列問題：
① What does the teacher teach?
② With what do students call her at home?
③ Who was in the teacher's house when she was on the phone?
④ Was it a long talk?
⑤ Why did the repairman think she was a spy?
電話交談
我教計(jì)算機(jī)課程，我的學(xué)生經(jīng)常打電話到我家問我問題。一天早晨，我在電話里用計(jì)算機(jī)語言解釋一個(gè)問題的答案，當(dāng)時(shí)一個(gè)維修工正在給我修電冰箱。經(jīng)過一連串的“C冒號(hào)，回車，大于號(hào)，CD，回車，DOS，C冒號(hào)”等等，我掛上電話發(fā)現(xiàn)那位維修工在盯著我。“女士，”他問，“你是個(gè)間諜嗎？”
練習(xí)參考答案：
① She teaches computer courses.
② Questions.
③ A repairman.
④ Yes, it was.
⑤ Because the repairman didn't understand computer language.
今天我給大家講一個(gè)笑話
I'll tell you a joke today.
今天我給大家講一個(gè)笑話
I'll tell you a joke today.
A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the
shopkeeper, "Does your dog bite?"
The shopkeeper says, "No, my dog does not bite."
The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him.
"Ouch!" He says, "I thought you said your dog does not bite!"
The shopkeeper replies, "That is not my dog!"
Cat and Mice貓和老鼠 Mrs Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a small box with holes punched in the top. " What's in your box?" asked the friend. "A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them." "But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend. "So is the cat," whispered Mrs Brown. 貓和老鼠 布朗夫人去拜訪一位朋友，她拿著一個(gè)頂部扎滿了小眼兒的盒子。“盒子里裝的是什么？”朋友問道。“一只小貓，”布朗夫人回答說，“你知道我晚上睡覺總夢(mèng)見老鼠，我非常害怕。這只貓可以抓住那些老鼠。”“可老鼠都是假想的呀。”朋友說。“小貓也是假想的。”布朗夫人小聲說道。Reached Shore Fast 快速靠岸 A guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car broke down. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to raise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance. He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday." A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location." "I-75, two miles south of Standish." After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?" 在休倫湖釣完魚后，我的一個(gè)朋友開車拖著他的船回家。路上車壞了。他沒帶手機(jī)，不過，他想，也許他可以通過海事無線廣播來請(qǐng)求公路援助。于是，他爬到他的船里面，啟動(dòng)了無線裝置，喊道，“求救，求救”。一名海岸護(hù)衛(wèi)隊(duì)警官作出了回應(yīng)，“報(bào)告你的位置”。“I-75號(hào)公路，Standish的南面兩英里”。沉默了好一會(huì)之后，警官問我的朋友，“你的船靠岸時(shí)開得有多快？” The Mean Man's Party 吝嗇鬼的聚會(huì) The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot." "Why use my elbow and foot?" "Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?" 一個(gè)聲名狼藉的小氣鬼終于決定要請(qǐng)一次客了。他在向一個(gè)朋友解釋怎么找到他家時(shí)說：“你上到五樓，用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了后，再用你的腳把門推開。” “為什么我要用我的肘和腳呢？” “天哪！” 吝嗇鬼回答，“你總不會(huì)空著手來吧？”那就更糟了 Much WorseMuch WorsePoliceman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch? Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.中文：警察：有人搶你的手表時(shí)，你為什么不呼救呢？男子：要是我張口的話，他們就會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)我的四顆金牙。那就更糟了。
以上就是講一個(gè)笑話英語的全部?jī)?nèi)容，..。
